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Vulnerability and Self Awareness, Why Do You Escape Me?

13 May

wpid-IMAG0764.jpgJust when I think I’ve found the secret to living in the moment and not letting my need to be a controlling, perfectionist take over, the controlling, perfectionist, EGO rears its ugly head again and I begin to let my bad habits return. :(

I begin to shut down and stop being vulnerable to my best friend and boy friend, which causes him to shut down and we both begin to let our EGOs question whether we should be in a relationship with each other, because after all we deserve to be with someone who doesn’t make us shut down, right?

That then opens to door for me to again ignore my hunger and fullness levels and instead choose to numb myself with food.  It’s a vicious cycle that I often lose sight because it feeds my EGO.  Were it not for OWN and Oprah, I may continue to spiral and let these things win, as they’ve done in the past, which has led me to be overweight and alone.  A vicious cycle I say.

wpid-IMAG0919.jpgThankfully, I do have OWN, Oprah and Super Soul Sunday to bring me back to self awareness and again remind me that everything I experience is determined by how I decide to react to everything around me, i.e. I’m in control of how happy I want to be with my life.  Why I continuously fight that notion, as a recovering control freak, I don’t know, but I do.  Actually, what am I saying…it’s my strong EGO which every day I think I’ve conquered, but clearly I’ve only kept at bay.

Thankfully, OWN recently re-ran Brene Brown’s sit down with Oprah  and I truly heard their message.  It’s funny how words impact you differently when you’re ready to truly hear them.  That was where I found myself.

I had previously seen Brene Brown’s first sit down with Oprah, but it didn’t impact me in the same way.  Below are some of the key items Brene shared that stuck out for me and caused me to get back to the happiness I am always searching for, but somehow every few weeks, I let my EGO sabatoge.

  • We live in a scarcity culture, where we don’t have enough & ultimately aren’t enough, which leads us to shut down & lose vulnerability which is the birthplace of everything we’re hungry for (deep, think about this one)
  • There is no such thing as being beyond judgement (so stop trying to be…note to self) :)
  • Self talk – “If I look perfect, act perfect, etc. I will never be hurt” – Brene says that only keeps us living in fear and never truly seen.
  • You have to actively practice gratitude to experience true joy
  • Stop chasing the extra ordinary, enjoy and be grateful of the ordinary
  • Let go of certainty to live in true vulnerability (a true work in progress for me)
  • Vulnerability is uncertainty, risk & emotional exposure (opposite of everything I’ve trained myself to value – certainty and emotional shields – long road, but not impossible) ;)

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How to you manage to keep yourself in the vulnerability/self-awareness way of life?  How do you keep your EGO at bay?

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How Will You Celebrate This Mother’s Day?

10 May

Although I’m not your normal Mom, i.e. of actual children, I am a mother to these three beautiful babies. :)

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They may not be able to get up and cook me breakfast or make me a card for Mother’s Day, but I know they’ll do the next best thing…they’ll be excited to see me and will love me unconditionally. ;)   So this Mother’s Day weekend we will celebrate by putting the Fitbit Zip Wireless Activity Tracker, I received free from RadioShack, to the test as we take a nice relaxing walk together, de-stressing and living in the moment.  :D

This is why I love the FitBit! My day one tally says I burned over 1400 calories, walked over 12,500 steps and a little over 5 miles...geez I was busy yesterday. Hope I can keep it up :)

This is why I love the FitBit! My day one tally says I burned over 1400 calories, walked over 12,500 steps and a little over 5 miles…geez I was busy yesterday. Hope I can keep it up :)

Being healthy, both of body and mind is a never ending journey for me and the Fitbit will not only track my steps, distance walked and calories burned, but it will automatically sync that information to my online Fitbit profile, which through the Fitbit app, I can log my food intake, weight, set my fitness goals, etc.  It’s even sweat, rain and splash proof (Dang, that means that even on a rainy day like today I have no excuse not to move huh?).  Groovy no? 

Gotta love technology…even if you’re a Mom.  Gadgets aren’t just for Dad’s anymore, trust me and RadioShack is a one stop shop.  They have everything from the Fitbit to Tablets to Cameras to Power Banks – oh my. :D Everything I hope to have in my gadget drawer soon. ;)  

Regardless of whether the Mom in your life is a techie or not, make sure you spend the day doing something nice for her, whatever that may be. :)

How does your Mom like to be celebrated?  If you’re a Mom, how do you like to be celebrated?

 

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My #WeightLossAwareness is Back!!!

29 Apr

weight scaleI’m not going to lie, life has been good to me in the relationship department for the past few months or so because I’ve been living in the moment instead of seeing the normal bumps that come with relationships, seem  like mountains.  Unfortunately, since this is a change to how I normally deal with things, my brain has apparently been over loaded in keeping me in the living in the moment mind space that the awareness I need to help me keep my eating habits in check, has slipped by the weigh side and I haven’t lost any weight during that same time frame.  Instead, I’ve spent most of my time gaining and losing the same 5 lbs over and over again.

This past weekend however, I decided I was done with gaining and losing those same 5 lbs over and over again. This past weekend I announced to my boyfriend that I was ready to get back on the mindful eating track and lose weight in time for summer.  When I showed up to work on Monday, I made the same announcement to my co-workers and again, started to faithfully tune in to my hunger and fullness levels, while using my Lose it app to log my food intake.  Thankfully, this was also the first week back at the gym after my elbow injury, which also helped spur me on.

Measuring tapeAs of this weekend, I’m proud to announce that I lost 2 lbs and saw a number on the scale that I haven’t seen since my college days ;).  I feel amazing, sore (I had been out of the gym for 3 weeks due to my elbow injury), but amazing none the less!  Here’s to my continued awareness and weight loss sucess :) .

What things have you noticed side track you from your weight loss goals?  What things help bring you back to awareness?

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It’s Back to Awareness Thanks to Meditation and TexasAngel :)

20 Mar

IMAG0608I’m not going to lie I’ve been off the awareness band wagon, when it comes to what I eat, for a while now; but thanks to Oprah and Deepak’s 21-Day Meditation Challenge to Perfect Health and a recent tweet from TexasAngel, I feel my “healthy” eating mojo getting back on track. ;)

I don’t know if it was the state I was in or what, but Oprah and Deepak’s 21-Day Meditation Challenge to Perfect Health started off a bit slow for me and was not sparking the path toward awareness as the previous challenge did; but I kept at it and eventually, around day 5, the switch turned back on.  That’s the day where Oprah and Deepak’s 21-Day Meditation Challenge to Perfect Health focused on The Rhythm of Your Mind-Body.

That day’s meditation was about allowing ourselves to be kind to our body and minds by “…going with the flow of our lives and accepting our circumstances in each moment.”  Those words helped bring me back to why it’s so important to keep awareness and live in the moment at all times, in every facet of our lives.  During that day’s meditation I focused on “…not worrying about the past or being fearful of the future…”  (Oprah and Deepak’s 21-Day Meditation Challenge to Perfect Health encourages taking 3 deeps breaths any time you feel yourself leaving the here and now.)

This began my upward spiral :)  Instead of beating myself up for wanting and eating everything fried or sweet that crossed my path, I began to explore how I can help myself feel satisfied with “healthy/better” food choices.  Enter TexasAngel’s tweet.

TexasAngel

I had heard about the “white food” ban for years, but I always thought it was an all or nothing approach.  It had never dawned on me to incorporate it gradually until TexasAngel suggested it.  Done and done.  That weekend I did my grocery shopping with the “white food” ban in mind and as I’ve made my gradual shift toward that way of eating, my insatiable need for wanting and eating everything fried or sweet is now gone. :)  I’m also getting creative with my cooking, which has brought back some old favorites I had forgotten about.  All in all, I feel back in control and on track :)

Thanks  Oprah and Deepak’s 21-Day Meditation Challenge to Perfect Health and TexasAngel! :D

What foods take you off the “healthy” eating track?  What foods keep you on the ”healthy” eating track?

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Diet shift? Sort of ;)

18 Feb

As you may have seen from my post Ayurveda Says I’m Kapha, What Are You?, I am turning to Ayurveda to help me win my battle in finding a way to balance my food intake so I no longer have major shifts in my weight.  Following Chopra’s Kapha-Balancing Nutritional Guidelines however has caused some inner turmoil – you’ll see why below.

According to recommendations under Chopra’s Kapha-Balancing Nutritional Guidelines (feel free to click on the link to get all the dets on the actual recommendations – below you’ll find some of my current interpretations) ;) :

  • IMAG0608I have had no problems:
    • reducing my dairy intake
    • buying honey to use as my sweetener of choice
    • keeping beans as a staple (pretty easy to do for this Mexican chica ;) )
    • favoring pumpkin seeds and sunflower seeds (one of my favs),
    • favoring corn and rye
    • sticking to fresh, organic white meat chicken, turkey, eggs, and seafood – easy peasy

However, the following recommendations have not been as easy for me to follow.

  • While I have begun drinking ginger tea (recipe) with meals, it’s not hot as prescribed since I gag anytime I attempt to drink hot liquids, but I am drinking it ;)
  • I also can’t seem to commit to doing a liquid fast one day per week, which requires drinking only fresh veggie and/or fruit juices, and pureed vegetable soup.  I have gone as far as making my very own vegetable soup, but this girl needs to chew something for the mind to register I’ve eaten something, so for now, I will try to embark on eating only fruits and veggies once a week. :D
  • healthy foodReducing tomatoes and heavier fruits like avocados…Houston, we have a problem.  I love avocados and tomatoes! I eat tomatoes at least three times a week and avocados at least once a weak…these may stay on the menu ;)
  • Use all spices except salt.  No salt?  OMG.  While I don’t oversalt, I do add salt to almost everything I cook.  I’ve already made the shift to sea salt to make a better salt choice and not have to use as much salt…does that count?
  • Eat your largest meal at lunchtime and a smaller meal at dinnertime. I grew up with dinner being our largest meal and while I’ve heard this since I heard the word diet, I struggle in getting my appetite time table to switch to fit this requirement.  Sorry ’bout ya lunchtime. :P (at least for now)

As with everything new, it is a process and I may or may not make the total shift, but I think baby steps, combined with awareness, will win this race.  :)

What are your favorite foods that you couldn’t see living without?   Would you consider a reduction in those foods to help bring balance to your health?

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Yoga = Relaxation – WW

6 Feb

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Ayurveda Says I’m Kapha, What Are You?

4 Feb

Measuring tapeIf you’ve seen my resent posts, I’ve not only begun this year by trying to bring my mind and spirit closer to my true self, but I have also embarked on learning about how Ayurveda can help balance our eating habits and get us closer to reaching our ideal weight, which I learned about in January’s Chopra Center Newsletter.

In reading through the article, I took the Chopra Center’s Dosha Quiz.  What is dosha you ask?  Well, according to the article, “Your dosha reflects your innate tendencies, including your temperament, metabolism, energy level, learning style, and many other aspects of your body, mind, and emotions”. Intriguing, I thought, so I took the quiz and the truth came out, I’m Kapha.

In a nutshell:

  • when I indulge too much, I end up with ”…weight gain, fluid retention, and allergies.”  Check, check, check.
  • I am “…(resistant) to change…(stubborn and)…tend to hold on to things, jobs, and relationships long after they are no longer nourishing or necessary.” Hello, have you seen my posts regarding my Ex (which I’m still trying to figure out by the way ;) )?  Geez, what more evidence do I need?
My name is Rosie and I'm Kapha

My name is Rosie and I’m Kapha

Thankfully however, along with the truth, the article goes on to provide some “Dosha Balancing Guidelines,” along with ways to use our taste buds to help.

“From the Ayurvedic perspective, a balanced diet isn’t just about getting the right amounts of proteins, fats, carbohydrates, and vitamins – it is also about another extremely important quality: taste.  Ayurveda recognizes six tastes: sweet, sour, salty, bitter, pungent, and astringent. Including all six tastes in every meal not only ensures that all major food groups and nutrients are represented, but it also provides us with the feeling of satisfaction in eating. When we finish a meal feeling satisfied, we are much less likely to find ourselves raiding the cupboards or refrigerator two hours later.”

Interesting.  I had read about bringing your full awareness with you when eating, allowing your five senses to experience the meal in it’s entirety, but had never heard of breaking down the sense of taste even further.  It will be challenging to see how I can incorporate all six tastes into every meal, but I’m up for the challenge.

I also liked their perspective on “Fresh Foods.“

healthy food“There are foods that accelerate aging and entropy and others that renew and revitalize the body. In general, “dead” foods contribute to degeneration and decay, while fresh foods enhance regeneration and vitality. For most foods, the closer to the time it is harvested you are able to eat it, the more energy and intelligence it provides. This means minimizing canned, frozen, and packaged foods to the extent possible. Ayurveda also discourages eating leftovers or microwaved meals”.

Not eating leftovers and staying away from the microwave will definitely be a challenge, especially since I don’t want to eat out and my work lunch room doesn’t have a stove, but I will try to see if I can make this a practice for the meals I am at home for. ;)

Again, I know this is a lot of new information to take in – trust me.  If you’re like me, while I like the way it sounds, I know that realistically I can’t make a total shift today or in every meal or everything I do, but knowing what to do and how to keep awareness with me, will bring me one step closer. :)

What is your dosha?  What do you think about using Ayurveda to reach your ideal weight? 

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Using Ayurveda to Reach Our Ideal Weight

28 Jan

weight scaleI first heard about Ayurveda when I was speaking to some co-workers from India during a Celebration of Staff Diversity event at work.  They explained that Ayurveda was a healing process used in India based on massage.  I was already sold once I heard massage, but in January’s Chopra Center Newsletter I learned more about Ayurveda and how it can also help you balance your eating habits to get you toward reaching your ideal weight.  Now I was really intrigued.

This is the comparison I made for myself last year when I began my weight lost journey.

This is the comparison I made for myself last year when I began my weight lost journey.

In reading more about it, it was good to know that they agree with what I have been saying since I started my Getting Skinny journey, it’s not about trying to reach the ideal weight Hollywood, magazines, friends, family and even medical charts say we should be.  It’s about getting to what is ideal for each of us.  If you’ve never been at the weight a medical chart says you should be at, at any point in your life (as a child, in high school, after a severe flu), it is unreasonable to believe that that is the ideal weight for you – so let that go. Instead, think back at that point in time where you felt the most comfortable and confident in your body and make that your goal.  If however, you happen to be one of the few who can get to that weight on the medical chart without ever having been at that weight before, congratulations.  Unfortunately, that has never been the case for me and a lot of people I know, which is why my current goal is based on the weight I was able to maintain for several years as an adult.

As I continued to read on, the article pretty much reinforced a lot of what I have been sharing regarding intuitive eating.

  • It’s not about following stict diets, it’s more about bringing awareness to your hunger levels, i.e. only eating when you’re hungry, vs. allowing yourself to eat/overeat to give yourself a temporary sense of comfort.
  • Then once you eat, keeping the awareness with you to know when you are no longer hungry, but instead satisfied to the point you can stop eating.
  • Eat only when you can dedicate time to actually take in what you’re eating with all your senses (i.e. break the habit of eating in front of the television, while working, or otherwise distracted enough that you aren’t aware of your hunger or fullness levels)
  • It also encouraged eating fresh foods, at every meal, if possible; eating more at lunch and less at dinner; using food as a true energy source vs. using it to feed/calm your emotions.

healthy food

All great reinforcements to what I have been trying to do more often than not, but what I really found interesting was the Chopra Center’s Dosha Quiz.  If you have a moment, I would encourage you to take the quiz since it provides some interesting insight into what can set us off into a binge fest and what foods can help keep us balanced so that regardless of what we may be feeling emotionally, we won’t want to go into a binge spiral.  More to come on this in a future post. ;)

Based on the description above, what does your ideal weight look like now?  How often do you allow yourself the luxury of allowing your five senses to take in everything you’re about to nourish your body with?

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Time to Focus on the Body

25 Jan

treadmillNow that I’ve begun getting my mind and spirit functioning with my true self in mind, I decided it was time to again start working on trying to get my body back to its true/ideal weight. ;) Thankfully finding my true self has quietly brought me back to reaching my ideal weight because being your true self is about bringing awareness to every aspect of your life…yay, one time multitasking can still help. :)

As is Holiday tradition, I gained back some of the weight I took off last year.  Granted, it was only about 5lbs, but when it took about 3 months to originally lose the 5lbs and keep them off, it’s enough to make you want to pull your hair out.  Thankfully, I stopped myself from spiriling out of my mind and decided that it was only 5lbs, which I could take off this month…mission almost accomplished.

meditation candlesI had also injured my back and could only do yoga/pilates for the last month of 2012.  Now that my back is healthy, I’m back to doing an hour of weight training and half an hour of ab work three times a week, with an hour of yoga five times a week (just love and need the stretch and flexibility).  I know, I know, you may not have the time to give to exercise and that’s ok.  I only dedicate so much time to it because I love how I feel after and it’s my daily stress relief. :)

Reaching your ideal weight thankfully is only 20% exercise, 80% diet.  Note, I didn’t say it was all diet, but if you can’t dedicate a block of time to exercise, start by trying to see if you can dedicate 10 minutes, 3 times a day to do some form of physical activity (walking; taking the stairs – coworkers use their breaks to climb our building stairs 2-3 times a day; doing chair exercises – see below; etc.).

With that said, we need all the help we can get when it comes to diet.  It all starts with awareness, awareness, awareness.  Simply put if you only eat when your hungry and stop eating once you’re satisfied (not full and regretting what you just ate, but when you no longer feel hungry), you will no longer need to go on strict diets which leave you feeling unsatisfied and hungry.

Easier said than done I know, but  in continuing to connect with my true self I have now started to look into Ayurveda through the Chopra Center.  I am still learning more about it, but hope to share more in future posts.

How is your weight management going so far?  What diet/exercise tips are working for you?

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Weight Loss – Why are You so Demanding and Needy?

5 Oct

I just realized this past month, that those of us trying to make intuitive eating a way of life, can never really take a break from being in tune with what we’re nourishing our bodies with. :( This realization brought me to a lightbulb moment…losing weight and keeping it off via intuitive eating is as demanding and needy as anyone you are in a relationship with (family, friends, lovers, pets).

Intuitive eating demands that you always “check-in” with yourself before you take a bite of anything…to determine whether you are “really” hungry or are just trying to keep yourself from being: sad, concerned, bored, lonely, tired, fill in the blank.

If it turns out that you are “truly” hungry and are eating, you have to “check-in” again and decide when you’re satisfied enough to stop eating (for me its just about reminding myself that we’re fortunate enough not to live in a third world country and I will always have access to food the next time I’m hungry, so there is no need to scarf down all the food around me). :P It seems like a silly thing to have to remind myself of, but it does keep me from over eating…when I truly “check in” with myself. Unfortunately, my life, as I’m sure everyone elses is, is not always “quiet” enough for me to “check-in” with myself at the times I need to. So what I’ve come to realize is that I have to work at it, much like we all work at maintaining any relationship. It just so happens this relationship is with food.

I don’t know about you, but my relationship with food has gotten me through so much…the good, the bad and the ugly ;)

It’s never been just about what food is truly meant for – nourishment. So ignoring my “check-in” points, and returning to food as a soothing comfort is second nature for me…heck, I’ve been doing it for most of my adult life.

However, because my body had time to get used to functioning at a lower weight, ignoring my body cues for a month has left me feeling discomfort from over eating and that discomfort has led me to become self aware again and I’m now willing to begin to listen to my “check-in” points again.

I never said my weight loss, nor any weight loss journey was easy, but I’ve found intuitive eating is a great tool for me when I’m willing to be tuned in and not so much when I let life take me over. As I started to analyze this, I realized that the same thing can be said for any failing relationship. When things are good, it seems nothing can derail you from enjoying your great relationship, however when life throws curve balls, we tend to close ourselves off and return to comforts, what ever that may be. It just so happens that for me it’s food, but I’m back in tune to seeing food for what it is…nourishment, and not my long lost BFF :)

What comforts you when life isn’t going “well”? What is your relationship with food…friend or foe?

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