If you’re a fan of the OWN network, then you know Iyanla Vanzant isn’t one to mince words, and she definitely didn’t hold back during her time on the #LifeYouWant tour. Here are a few of the hard hitting truths she shared.
If you made it through the past you made it. You don’t have to worry you didn’t get an A. – basically here she was reminding us that no matter how many times we think back to how we could have handled things differently or said things differently so that we could have gotten an A outcome vs. an F worthy outcome, it’s still the past and something that can’t be changed, so just let it go and deal with what’s going on in the here and now.
The enemy is sometimes in me. Don’t get caught up in the pain or challenges because you then allow negative EGO to forget the grace that has gotten you through – so if you live a life filled with woe is me moments, noticing only when negativity enters your life, you’re giving away your power and allowing your consciousness to only show you those moments, vs. the little things in life that allow you to wake up the next day to continue complaining about how unfair life is. So don’t let negativity take over and begin to show gratitude for the mere miracle of waking up, being able to take a breathe, feeling the breeze going through your hair, you get the drift.
Be careful what you grab onto when you’re birthing something new – for me this goes back to something Brene Brown said about only being vulnerable with those that have earned the right. So as you take on change, whether it be spiritual, emotional, physical, etc. although you may be on a high and want to share it with the world, don’t. Only share it with those that have earned the right to keep negativity and second guessing to a minimum. Once you’ve made a change big enough for others to notice and comment on, then you can share as much or as little of the process as you want.
Stop trying to squeeze yourself into things that don’t fit you – I have been guilty of this more times than I’d like to count. Most recently in dealing with someone who I thought was my best friend and destined future husband. For years and years I kept trying to squeeze myself into a relationship with him because of unresolved Daddy issues. Those issues are what allowed him to stay in my life because he had the key & I never changed the locks. Now that I have acknowledged the hang up and have begun dealing with it, I can clearly see that I was trying to squeeze myself into a life that wasn’t truly my own and now the lock’s been changed and things have gotten better for me ever since.
Life doesn’t play tricks on you…your mind does, but make no mistakes, life will always find a way tell you who you really are, past your false self – Life is what you make of it. If you choose to only see the negative about yourself, others and the world you live in, then that is what it will be mirrored back to you, even if you only do it behind closed doors, out of the ear shot of those who believe the false shell you’ve created for yourself to the outside world. The world isn’t out to get you. On its own it doesn’t know enough to work that way. It works from a place of energy, sending back the energy it gets from you. So don’t try to prove yourself to others by trying to take on too many things, living in debt to keep up with the Jones’s, etc. You’ve already been pre-approved, no need to prove who you are.
Life wants you to tell the truth all the time, not play down on limitations. Your eyes will adjust to the level of deficiency present, so to reach the life you want focus on the vision of it – regardless of how much you push against your truth and try to hide it for days, months, years – life will always find a way to bring it to the surface, whether you’re ready or not. Once it does and you decide to truly live the life you want, then make sure you’re clear about your intention and envision it as if is now true. Courage is doing what you need to before you’re forced to do it. This reminded me of Oprah’s quote during the tour – When you can surrender your dream for a bigger dream, that’s when you begin to live your life’s purpose and begin to live the life you want. Once you can let go of the dream you’re currently living to make the dream of living the life you want a reality, then you will no longer be living a life of deficiency, but a life of purpose and intention. So ask for what you want & don’t be willing to settle for less.
When you forgive from the soul it will free your soul – forgiveness is a gift you need to give yourself. It really isn’t about the other person. It’s about you forgiving them for not being able to provide what you needed from them and then forgiving yourself for feeling unworthy, afraid, etc._______.
All of the wisdom shared by Iyanla is to show that Life is your friend. Don’t be afraid of it. It will always guide you down the right path, as long as you are willing to live in gratitude, be aware and live with intention. Yes, this takes a lot of practice, but when you’re in the zone, that’s when the magic happens and the energy reflected back at you is brighter than you could have ever imagined. 😉
Which life lesson has left the biggest impact in living the live you want?