Finding Happiness in the Ordinary

Love or Ego, Which Do You Choose?

As I discussed in my previous post –The Ego Is So Unflattering, Yet So Hard to Shake – I struggle with my Ego constantly.  I originally thought it was more of an issue in my closest relationships (when dealing with my partner or family), but I’ve now come to realize that it seems that way because those are the ones I deal with on a daily, more intimate basis, but really Ego is there in every encounter.Love Wordle-YourSassySelf.com

I think that because I am involved in a relationship, Ego just keeps coming up because my partner is not an exact replica of me, which is what my Ego would prefer.  It is because of this that I’m always asking myself, what is it that you truly want?  To live happily ever after with Ego or to live happily ever after in love.  When I place myself in awareness I choose love, however when I don’t allow the awareness to come, I choose Ego and that is not a happy place to be.

True lovePer Gina Lake‘s book, Loving in the Moment – Moving from Ego to Essence in Relationships the EGO is not a friend to love because loving makes it vulnerable and gives that person power and control to hurt and disappoint us (ding, ding).  (Love) Essence however, is all about appreciation, approval, acceptance, compassion, patience, love and it compliments and uplifts, rather than judges.  It is willing to allow your partner to live life as he/she sees fit (trust me if you’re Ego is as strong as mine, it’s raising an eyebrow atallow your partner to live life as he/she sees fit, but hold it together, it’s worth it 😉 )  It may ask for what it prefers to have happen (Would you mind putting those things away or do you mind if I put them away now?), but it accepts responsibility for having this preference and doesn’t belittle your partner in an attempt to get him/her to comply. 

I don’t know about you, but most of my Ego centered arguments with my partner come when I think something should be done a certain way and he disagrees, which as I discussed in The Ego Is So Unflattering, Yet So Hard to Shake, is rooted in conditioning and only a point of view, not the absolute truth or only way things can be done.

CHECK OUT:  Remember, It's About the Simple Things - WW

Gina says whenever we find ourselves struggling with someone or with life, we are holding the Ego too close.  If we allowed Essence in then we can let go and allow everything and everyone around us to be exactly the way they are.  I generally have no issue in dropping into Essence once I become aware that Ego is trying to take over when an incident occurs, but I struggle staying in Essence if another related incident occurs.  This is when my Ego starts shouting at me see, told you this would happen, he needs to change or we’re outta here.  My fear kicks into high gear and I turn to protection mode, which closes me, which in turn closes him up and brings out his Ego because he can feel I’m no longer coming from Essence.  It’s a vicious cycle and if I allow my Ego to stir up or react to his Ego, then we’re in trouble because we go into a stand off which doesn’t go away until one of us finds our way back into Essence.

Don’t get me wrong, Ego is a two way street.  He has about as much Ego as I do, just maybe on different things, but it’s clearly there.  I’m sure you’ll find that almost everyone in your life also has Ego, we all do.  The solution however is letting go of our Ego and allowing Essence through.  Per Gina, if you drop into Essence, that will be the end of Ego because if one side doesn’t participate, it’s difficult for the other to stay in the same state – remember it takes two to argue.  Easier said than done though, but it’s a true work in progress.

CHECK OUT:  The Ego Is So Unflattering, Yet So Hard to Shake

love-yoursassyself.com.jpg

Which do you choose?  Love or Ego?

Rocio Chavez
Lets Connect

Rocio Chavez

Digital Content Creator & Multimedia Designer at Your Sassy Self
I'm a Mexican-American, Sassy, Bilingual, Professional Woman with a passion for life long learning, sharing, and living my best life. I'm the founder and digital content creator for Your Sassy Self and work full time as a Multimedia Designer. Let's connect and see how we can change the world...or at least change our perspective of it. 😉
Rocio Chavez
Lets Connect

About Author

I'm a Mexican-American, Sassy, Bilingual, Professional Woman with a passion for life long learning, sharing, and living my best life. I'm the founder and digital content creator for Your Sassy Self and work full time as a Multimedia Designer. Let's connect and see how we can change the world...or at least change our perspective of it. ;)

(29) Comments

  1. yoursassyself says:

    Yes Nicole, it’s a great book and it takes a lot to move from Ego to Essence…taking it one step at a time 😉 Have a great week and happy reading!

  2. Ashley says:

    Love <3

    1. Rocio Chavez says:

      Yes, love is the best isn’t it 😉

  3. Kelly McGrew says:

    Love . <3

    1. Rocio Chavez says:

      Yay, me too 😀

  4. natalie nichols says:

    Love!! Most definitely.

    1. Rocio Chavez says:

      Me too!

  5. M.Clark says:

    When you’re in love you choose love over ego. It may sound trite, but it’s true.

  6. M.Clark says:

    If you’re in love you choose love over ego.

    1. Rocio Chavez says:

      True, being in love is key 😉 Thanks for dropping by, hope to see you here again soon!

  7. Thanks for the post!

    1. Rocio Chavez says:

      My pleasure DG

  8. washington_nc says:

    Love

  9. Rebecca Peters says:

    I would choose love over ego.. not sure about some people I know

    1. Rocio Chavez says:

      Lol 😀

  10. Beth D says:

    Love

  11. melisa hennings says:

    love all the way

  12. I could never get along with an exact replica of myself. No way.

    1. Rocio Chavez says:

      Lol, yeah I think I’d get tired too, but it has been a thought in my head 😉 Happy you stopped by Myrna, hope to see you here again!

  13. tammy S says:

    Just do not let your ego get in the way tell the person you love always they are loved

    1. Rocio Chavez says:

      So true, thanks Tammy

  14. anne marie says:

    Love is non-judgmental and the other positive things, though sometimes it is hard not to get your ego involved…

    1. Rocio Chavez says:

      Ego is something I need to battle often, but when I stay in love, there’s nothing better 😀 Happy you stopped in Anne, hope to see you here again!

  15. Christy Anderson says:

    Yes you need to make sure your ego’s not getting in the way of a wonderful person that will love and care for you.

    1. Rocio Chavez says:

      It took me a while Christy, but I finally got out of my way and it’s been great! Thanks for stopping by, hope to see you again soon! Have a great week!!

  16. Janette Polivka says:

    Love hands down, no ifs, ands, or buts about it!

  17. Sania Akbar says:

    love 🙂

  18. Love over EGO any day of the week! 🙂

    1. Totally there with ya! It’s all about l-o-v-e 😉

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