Speaking the Same Love Language

As you may have picked up from my posts, I love watching Oprah’s Own Network and all the fab programming toward leading your best life.  Recently I caught an episode focused on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages.  If you missed it, here’s the skinny on finding your love language, even if you’re currently single.

Speaking the Same Love Language - yoursassyself.com

Dr. Chapman is a relationship counselor who developed the concept of The 5 Love Languages to help people speak and understand love through the following:

  • Words of Affirmation – If this is your love language, you prefer others to show you their love via verbal compliments, words of appreciation, encouragement, etc.
  • Quality Time – If this is your love language, you prefer others to show you their love via doing things TOGETHER! Looking at each other, talking to each other, sharing your life with your partner.
  • Receiving GiftsIf this is your love language, you prefer others to show you their love via gifts. They don’t have to be expensive, but the gift says to you “he/she cares about me” and “he/she thinks of me”.
  • Acts of Service –  If this is your love language, you believe actions speak louder than words! You like your partner to initiate the acts of service and put efforts into doing them to show that he/she cares.
  • Physical Touch – If this is your love language, you prefer others to show you their love via a hug, a kiss, squeezes on the shoulder, a pat on the back, a touch of the face, and an arm around the waist… Touches can be 10 times as powerful and comforting as any words!
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Dr. Chapman states that a person will usually speak one primary language, but all are important and can be ranked after taking the Love Language Quiz to see which is your primary language, see which are similar to your partner’s, and which each of you may need to work on to be speaking the same love language.

There are several versions of the quiz online, but I liked this version of the Love Language Quiz because you could print it and bring it to the table with you when you are ready to open up this conversation with your significant other (I know I am ).

Screen Shot 2015-10-16 at 2.15.11 PM

So go ahead, take the Love Language Quiz with your partner and begin to get a handle on each other’s foreign love language and how to translate it back into a love language you both can understand.  Even if you’re single, it’s an interesting thing to learn about yourself.

As you go through the process, go in knowing what Dr. Chapman says – love is a choice and when you learn what love means to your partner and you choose to show love in the way they will feel loved, you will get to feel love in return.  If however, you choose to continue to show love only as you like to receive love, then don’t be surprised when your partner’s love for you shuts down.  I hear that loud and clear!

Love is choice - Gary Chapman quote - yoursassyself.com

I hope this helps in bringing you closer to life long happiness with your partner.

Did you find that what you thought was your love language, was not your primary love language after you took the quiz?  

Rocio Chavez
Lets Connect


  1. I’m so glad you shared this! It’s been awhile since I’ve taken the quiz–three of them have always been pretty equal, but I was curious if that had changed in nine years of marriage. Seems like words of affirmation have taken a slight edge over the others!

  2. I love that book!! My boyfriend and I each read it when we decided to move in together. It really did help us make the transition and ultimately love each other more. Such a great book. I think everyone should read it.

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