Top 5 Ways Not to Damage Your Man’s Ego

Top5WaysNottoDamageYourMansEgo-yoursassyself.comRecently I was driving to work, listening to the radio, when one of the DJs mentioned a recent article they found about ways to damage a man’s EGO.  Now, y’all know I, (like the rest of us – even if you’re still not yet ready to admit it), struggle in keeping my EGO in check.  Trust me, I’ve done the research, have found my triggers and ways to keep myself from being triggered, but I have yet to master it all, especially when it comes to my BF (boyfriend).  Because of that, when they started talking about the article my ears perked right up as I realized we needed to concentrate more on the Top 5 Ways Not to Damage Your Man’s Ego.

It’s taken me 30 some odd years of life to realize that while I don’t need much praise or adoration to be self motivated, a man’s EGO requires a lot of stroking.  Constant that a boys, thank you honeys, you name it. Since I don’t need it, I struggle in dishing it out, but I’m getting better.  That’s why I decided to share my Top 5 Ways Not to Damage Your Man’s Ego.
  1. Don’t try to change him in anyway.  Ladies, I realize this is so hard for us because of our nurturing ways, but when we spend time trying to change our man, all they’re seeing and feeling is that we don’t think their good enough as they are – thus leaving a hole in his self-esteem or in his love for us.  Basically this is just telling them that we think we’re better than they are and they should become more like us, doing everything like we do.  I don’t know about you, but while that sounds good in our heads, in reality we probably still wouldn’t be happy.  Just image how you’d feel if they tried to do that to you.
  2. Don’t call him irresponsible.  That’s just another word for saying you need to change.  It does nothing but set him off into thinking that we think they’re not good enough and stirs all those emotions mentioned above.
  3. Don’t go off and repair something just because you can.  As an independant woman I know that’s something that we’re very proud of because we’ve had to do many things for ourselves in order to survive.  Unclog a toilet, change light fixtures, change tires, you name it.  Once there’s a man in the picture however, let go and give him the opportunity, even if you think he’s totally clueless.  He’ll definitely appreciate it and you that much more.
  4. Don’t pay for dinner.  As is the case in many relationships now a days, we as women have found ourselves in situations where we make more than the men in our lives.  Regardless of this trend, we have to remember that when it comes to nights out, the man still wants to keep the male role of paying for dinner, especially if it’s a dinner with friends.  So the next time you’re out on a romantic date or out with friends, leave your wallet at home.
  5. Don’t try to one up him.  Again, especially if you’re already financially more successful than he is, keep that in mind when taking part in anything competitive (games, sports, or anything else he feels is his thing – like being funny, strong, etc.). While initial healthy competition is intriguing to men, if it continues every time, it may leave him feeling dejected and weak. Instead decide to be supportive and choose activities you know he’s better at than you, more often than not, to allow him to feel his juices.
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Ladies, if after reading this you find yourself sitting there, shaking your head at me, trust me that was me a couple of years ago and my EGO sometimes takes me back there.  All I can say is that I understand.  But having come from your place to the place I am now, with my EGO in check most of the time and in a happy relationship more often than not, this is the only way to be.  The alternative is not something that I want or need at this point in my life.  At this point I have to say that I’m happy with my choice of having chosen love over EGO.

What ways have you managed to keep yourself from damaging your man’s ego?

Rocio Chavez
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