While I’m still working on my weight loss goals and making my intuitive eating habits second nature to me, I’m not exactly there. I still have my moments where my old diet mentality rears its ugly head. 👿 It always happens when I keep pizza, ice cream, cake or any “bad” food really at home. Once they’re there and I eat them, I tend to feel guilty about blowing my diet, so I go into an overeating frenzy where I can’t rest until the “bad” food is gone in it’s entirety (so I won’t be tempted again in the near future). And because I grew up with Mom saying I had to eat everything on my plate and shouldn’t throw any food away because there were starving children around the world, I also can’t just throw it away. Sound familiar? Welcome to my week filled with visitors, celebrations and left overs.
Trust me, I know enjoying those foods in moderation is ok and I need to stop my love-hate relationship with them, but my diet brain just won’t let my intuitive eating side allow that to happen. Intuitive eating habits encourage you to release all self-judgment on food and enjoy what you want as long as you’re tuned into your hunger and fullness levels. But the realistic side of me knows that because I’m still in the learning stages of making intuitive eating a way of life, I need to keep the “bad” food out of my house.
I’ve struggled with that decision since I feel it helps keep my diet gremlins around. The thing that makes this decision ok for me though is that when those types of foods are in front of me, I tune out entirely and let the food fill me instead of finding ways to fill myself with happiness. I know my issue is about emotional eating and not about the “bad” food at all. Somehow, despite all of the work I’ve been doing to live in the moment, some part of me still doesn’t want to let go of my need to turn to food for happiness, thus keeping me from having a healthy relationship with food.
However, when you really think about it, those who have issues with drugs or alcohol are always encouraged to stay away from situations where drugs or alcohol may be available to keep themselves on the recovery track. As an overeater of “bad” food, I need to do the same because my brain is still trained to soothe inner turmoils with it; so it only make sense that I bar these items from my home. What I have to teach my diet brain is to understand that it’s not a will power issue, instead its about trying to make a shift from soothing with food to actually confronting the issue at hand and solving it. Until that becomes my norm, I think setting a clear boundary like this is helpful. It’s about choosing to love yourself and your body enough to treat it with the respect that it deserves, which is to be balanced physically and emotionally. One day I hope to be able to have ice cream in my fridge and not have the ever present need to finish it all in one sitting. 😉
What are your week’s weight loss goals?