As much as I know in my mind that I, like everyone else, am perfect, whole and complete, just as I am, I just haven’t been feeling it lately. Instead I’ve just felt life is just blah. It’s weird. No major tragedies or depression here, just blah. Have you ever felt like that? I definitely wake up every day filled with gratitude and joy to take on a new day, and go to bed feeling the same, but something is definitely missing and just making me feel blah. And it’s been hard to pin point, but I guess that’s the thing about life, it’s always keeping you guessing.
While I’ve relished in awakening, becoming self aware, and living an authentic life as my true self, I know that living and loving in the moment require constant vigilance. However, for whatever reason, these past 3 weeks or so, I’ve chosen to let life happen to me instead of choosing what I want to happen in my life. I can clearly see it and my body and overall health have felt it, but I continue to ignore it. A definite sign that there is still more work to be done here and that’s ok.
See, I was getting my health back on track. I was eating intuitively and had lost some weight, but the results just weren’t making me as happy as I thought they would.
Then I began to feel tired – a lot, I went back to my bad eating habits, my allergies flared up, I gained some of the weight back, and with a couple of weeks gloomy weather, I just haven’t wanted to do anything. My negative self talk kicked in again and my affirmations were doing nothing to shake me out of it. I even found accolades and rewards in my professional life during this time, but it too did nothing.
Thankfully I know that everything happens for a reason and what I need to help me get back on track will always present itself. While I currently still feel tired, my allergies are still here and the gloomy weather continues, I do see glimmers of improvement. It just so happens that the Hay House World Summit kicked off this week and after hearing a couple of speakers I know that this is exactly what I need to help me pin point what’s good for me vs. what’s easiest for me, which is to go back to old habits. So here I go again, pushing toward transformation.
Unfortunately, as much as I want to be done with figuring out my life, I need to find peace with it and embrace that change and transformation are a constant, and thus here to stay. So with that I’m moving toward embracing moments of down time like I’ve had recently, instead of beating myself up about it, because it’s during those moments that you are pushed to move past your obvious issues, to the root. We’ll see how far these roots take me. Stay tuned!
Have you ever felt blah for no other reason that what’s in your own mind? How have you gotten yourself out?
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